On Fear, Freedom, Rejection, and Bearing Fruit

On Fear, Freedom, Rejection, and Bearing Fruit

The blank space on the application dares me.

What is your God-sized dream?

Is there a right answer? How much depends on this answer? What will she think of what I write?

Will her eyes grow big, eyebrows raised…Will she think, “OK…that is NOT what I meant when I asked…”?

Will it land my application in the no way pile?

Because my dream, it’s not run-of-the-mill.

I know how many applicants will answer the question: My dream is to write a book, be published, start a business, become a speaker…

All excellent dreams.

As is often the case with me, my dream is different:

Freedom.

It sounds all lofty and noble, until you hear the last part, the from.

I dream of freedom from the effects of childhood sexual abuse.

Oh…um, yeah…good luck with that, right?

Intense, right? Who wants to read about that? Think about that?

At first, I cannot even speak this dream out loud. How can I dream it, journey toward it, achieve it, if I cannot even verbalize it?

No one will be interested in this, I think.

This will bring everyone down. It will make waves, make people look at me funny.

Why in the world do you want to do that, they will wonder–maybe even ask.

 …face a fear and express the truth that’s bigger than that fear.

That’s my God-Sized Dream assignment for this week.

My fear? Rejection.

My truth:

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that remains… –John 15:16 (emphasis added)

I am chosen. And, though this is dream is mine, it is also for you. I pray that, through this journey, I will bear fruit that will remain for you: that you might see the greatness and glory of a God who loves and wants to free you, too.

And:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. –Galatians 5:1

Freedom. It’s why Christ died! He wants this for me and for you. In that, it’s a perfect dream.

And:

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him. –Psalm 28:7

If the Lord places a dream on my heart, then I determine to trust Him with it. He will be my strength, my shield, my helper. And I trust Him to use his body to carry this out. When I do, my heart leaps for joy.

And you? What are you afraid of? What truth is bigger than your fear? Let’s chat!

 

Comments

  1. LOVE you, so much Mandy! So thankful for your faithfulness and excited to see what God does in and through you. Praying that He will hold you close and heal your hurts.
    Becky Daye recently posted..Five Minute Friday~ AfraidMy Profile

    • I love you, Becky! I treasure your prayers. Thank you for you kindness and encouragement. Yo are SUCH a blessing.

  2. I just read in 2 Timothy 1:6 that “God does not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.” May the God of power empower you to overcome your fears and feel the acceptance of others. I claim victory for you over your fears of rejection. I claim victory for you that you will use your experiences to help others, but to gain freedom for yourself from the chains of your past. You go, girl! You got this!
    Olivia recently posted..Living with FearMy Profile

    • Oh, what a big smile you’ve put on my face on sluggish, Tuesday morning! Thank you, Olivia! LOVE that scripture:) And I love the power in your words here. I can feel it, dreaming sister! Just, thank you.

  3. I love the way you haven’t put God in a box. You’re embracing the freedom he gives and trusting him to bear fruit as he sees fit. You’re brave, my friend!
    Kristin Taylor recently posted..{God-sized Dreams} WaitingMy Profile

    • Wow, thanks for saying so, Kristin. It is so helpful to hear from others–not putting God in a box, now that sounds cool:) I appreciate your encouragement!

  4. Verbalizing is the beginning of validating the abuse and that flows into taking back the ground that was shaken under you and THEN takes back the control the abuse had and hands it to Christ. It is a beautiful circle…that is often times inundated with doubt, intimidation, and yes fear! That “fear” that somehow YOU were responsible and that others will only see THAT as truth.
    But isn’t it GREAT that God is so much bigger than that??? He takes these “things” that seem CRAZY to other humans and makes something so awesome out of it. Thank you so much fro reminding me of that this morning!!!

    • It IS great that God is so much bigger than that! Thank you for reminding ME of that:) Really, such goodness in what you’ve shared here, Donna. Thank you! It is so helpful to hear from someone further in the journey to spur me forward with such encouragement. xoxoxo

  5. Mandy, I pray that this is the first step to redeeming your story, glorifying God, and breaking through to the freedom already given to you. That new life, it’s already yours. He came to bind up the brokenhearted! Take that healing and run in joy with it. You inspire me to look at the big and small in my life to see how it can be used. This is a big dream that will benefit many. Bless you!
    Amy Tilson recently posted..Looking Back, Moving ForwardMy Profile

    • What a wonderful reminder, Amy! Claiming what He’s already purchased for me, amen. Thank you for this perspective. I so appreciate you encouragement, my friend.

  6. Wonderful words. Spoken from the heart. God wants you to have your God sized dream because He loves you and wants you to be free of fear, rejection, and sadness. Your fruit is in Him. Keep praying, looking for joy in his glimmers of grace, and He will grow you each and every day! Courage to share is huge! Check out one of my recent posts about fighting and fruit (weird combo I know…I think you’ll understand)…http://graceglimmers.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/fight/
    Jenn recently posted..LeavingMy Profile

    • Oh, you women are so wonderful! Jenn, thank you for sharing these thoughts. They are such good reminders and encouragements. Blessings to you.

  7. Love this…such beautiful truth. I was smiling when I read your account of filling out the application, because I had some similar thoughts and almost didn’t even push the button to send it. So glad we both did…and that we are on this journey together! You are a blessing, and your words continue to encourage me. Keep sharing…because your dream is inspiring to so many people, including me.
    Mel recently posted..My God-Sized Dream: Mean GirlsMy Profile

    • Mel, it always brings a smile to my face to see your name and Gravatar here:) I am enjoying your posts, too. Love journeying with you, and I am so grateful for your encouraging words!

  8. I am so proud of you! You are facing your fears on this beautiful journey and you are embracing truth. Love, love, love!

  9. Mandy, I appreciate your heart so much. Be assured you are bearing good fruit of faith and beauty, friend!
    Holley Gerth recently posted..When the Road to Your Dream Holds Unwelcome ViewsMy Profile

    • Holley, thank you:) It is so encouraging and motivating to hear that, especially since this journey involves much rooting out of the not-so-beautiful. (So, was there ever really a “no way” pile, hehe?)

  10. I so know what you mean! But, He will guide us through these fear and to the other side. That Scripture from John – Ye have not chosen Me, but I chose you – is one of my favorites because it reminds me that through all my stuff and fears, He has a plan for my life and I just have to trust in Him to guide me. I pray for your freedom and mine, friend. :)
    Jenny D recently posted..God-size Dream: FearMy Profile

    • So right on: He has a plan and a purpose for each of us. Abiding in that is where I want to be. Thanks, Jenny! Praying for our freedom!

  11. Mandy, you are already bearing good fruit just by sharing these words with us and giving us courage to vocalize and pursue the dreams God has given us. I pray that you will truly feel His freedom this year, and that each of us will step more and more into freedom every day of our lives.

    “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:36
    Kim recently posted..Why I Have More in Common with Jonah Than I ThoughtMy Profile

    • I pray that you truly feel His freedom as you step into your dream as well, Kim! Wow, such kind, encouraging words. Thank you!

  12. Mandy, such strength and beauty and faith in your words. You are loved and you are brave in letting that love fill you and spill out to those around you! Way to go!!
    Heather recently posted..When Your Compass Just SpinsMy Profile

    • I’m tearing up at these words, Heather. It is hard to write about this dream, so it takes strength, I guess…but I am really trying to embrace the love that God and others offer so that I can be filled and share it, so those words hit home. Thank you for that…and for not raising your eyebrows and running in the opposite direction from this crazy woman!

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