Until it wasn’t.
Because this is what already filled my plate:
*Mother to 2 tween daughters, a 4 1/2 year-old daughter, and a nursing/weaning one-year old son
*Homeschooling teacher of 3 children and manager of one baby
*Weekly Bible study
*Co-leader of my parish’s Little Flowers Girls Club
*Chauffeur and cheerleader for my daughters’ dance classes
*Random monthly meetings
*Miscellaneous play dates, mommy dates, and special occasions
Though I lived discouraged, overwhelmed, and exhausted, I didn’t think I was doing that much.
Until two voices gently questioned whether I was spreading myself too thin. When my closest friend and a trusted counselor suggested I pare things down, I thought hard.
I remembered this one little word that some wonderful authors planted in my mind:
While I accepted invitations to individual events if I knew I was accepting for the right reasons, I kept my commitments to those three ministries.
It wasn’t easy. Some people didn’t understand.
And I had to leave my Hello Mornings group made up of church friends. From the outside, that decision made very little sense. It was a good group, but I knew God was calling me to something else. I just knew.
He knew I needed not only margin, but also room for what was coming.
There was turmoil:
*The end of a dear friendship
*Heartbreak for each of my siblings
*My husband’s job loss, job search, and adjustment to a new job
*The passing of my friend’s husband
There were friends having babies and other friends He wanted me to know better.
There was His plan for my healing. He has been guiding me out of discouragement, fear, anxiety, insecurity, and worthlessness.
Into a holy confidence.
And He wants me to write about it. And write. And write. And write. You can see how that is turning out. (Hello Allume!)
He knew my world was going to turn upside down, and He continues urging me to let go of those things that hurt me, wear me down, make me unavailable, and hinder me from pursuing the life He offers.
I continue to evaluate. Often, I backtrack and release what I see He is not calling me to. It’s imperfect progress, but it is progress.
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